Every so often, something happens in your career that you instantly know will stay with you forever. As someone who coaches leading with compassion as a core principle, you experience one of those rare experiences that doesn’t just mark your professional identity; it validates who you are and quietly reveals the kind of leader you’ve become.
One of those moments happened for me recently, and it fills me with pride just to think about. Here’s what happened…
I’ve been working with a business equipment and services company for several years now. They have four offices across the country, the largest of which has about 18 employees, including their corporate leadership team.
It’s a close-knit group who work side by side every day. They know each other’s families, grab drinks after work, and get together for barbecues and holiday parties.
Among the longest-tenured non-executives was a man named Tom, who had been with the company for 20 years. Tom is the kind of employee every organization loves—loyal, dependable.
But over the last year, things started to change…
The Decline
At first, it was subtle. Tom seemed tired — more than usual. A little slower to respond in conversation. A little more withdrawn. It was easy to chalk it up to stress or burnout, so that’s what we did. But soon, it became clear that something else was going on.
As time passed, his performance steadily declined. As the company’s fractional CHRO, I spoke regularly with the CEO about him. At first, the conversations centered on his slipping productivity. But as things got worse, those talks shifted—away from performance, and toward concern for Tom’s mental and physical health.
And yet, through it all, Tom’s dedication never wavered. His commitment to the company and his coworkers remained steady. No one ever questioned whether he cared.
His actions, however, painted a different picture. He missed deadlines constantly, forgot important details, his once-neat handwriting had become completely illegible. He struggled with tasks that had once been second nature, overwhelmed even by his routine responsibilities. In meetings, he would frequently drift off, staring into space like he wasn’t really there. And when he did speak, he often hesitated mid-sentence, searching for the right word but never quite finding it. And, once he actually fell asleep on a work zoom call!
What was going on? It seemed serious. None of us knew. But his coworkers noticed. The CEO noticed. I noticed.
And we were all worried.
The Intervention
It was impossible to ignore. And after more than six months of hushed conversations and growing concern, the CEO called me in for a meeting. We needed to figure out what to do about Tom.
It was my suggestion that we meet with him privately to explain that we were very concerned about him and suggest that he take a paid leave of absence to get the appropriate care.
The CEO was open to that idea, but wanted to consult with their attorney first to see what they suggested…
The Legal Advice
The company’s attorney had a straightforward strategy. He advised us to ask Tom if he needs an accommodation:
- If he says yes, he must provide documentation from a healthcare provider. The company can then assess whether the request is reasonable. If not, termination may follow.
- If he says no, the company can document cause and proceed with termination.
I remember sitting there, listening, and thinking, while it’s technically correct, this is not leading with compassion.
After the meeting, I reminded the CEO that this man has given the last 20 years of his life to this company — but he cut me off and said, “we’re doing it your way.”
I took a great big sigh of relief!
The Compassionate Approach
So, the next day we met with him privately, expressing concern and leading with compassion—as people who cared for him. When we told him we thought he should take some time to focus on his health, he was baffled!
He insisted he was fine. But even as we spoke, we saw some of the symptoms that were concerning us. Pausing, searching for a thought, and never really getting back on track. Something was clearly wrong.
The Complete 180°
About two weeks later, Tom called me directly. I was nervous as I picked up the phone, fearing the worst, but his bright and cheerful tone was immediately reassuring. In fact, his attitude was nothing short of astonishing!
“I cannot tell you how much better I feel. You have given me such a gift,” he said. He had gone in for a full physical and was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. He was started on medication and he was already on the right path to getting better.
In other words, the doctors concluded that Tom’s symptoms were brought on by prolonged low thyroid function and not something far worse! With treatment, plenty of rest, and consistent medication regimen, they were confident he would be back to his old self in no time.
In hindsight, Tom was certainly grateful for the opportunity to figure out what was going on. He was so buried in his work that he never even realized how he was acting. Only by speaking with his family and his doctors, was he able to take a step back and get some new perspective.
His family also sent messages that made me tear up a bit. One said, “we feel like we have our father back.”
The Leadership Lesson
In a world where many employees see HR as bureaucratic corporate enforcers, it’s easy to forget that our most important job is caring for the people we work with.
The CEO could have listened to his legal counsel—but he didn’t. He wasn’t worried about being technically compliant, he was worried about his employee and his friend.
And guess what else? Everyone else noticed…
Not everyone knew the details, but employees in the local office and around the country heard how leadership treated Tom. This simple act of compassion strengthened the company culture and sparked loyalty across the entire organization.
If you’re still not with me on why leading with compassion is such a powerful driver of success, I’m not sure what else to say. The truth is: people are a critical part of every organization—and sometimes people are fragile.
If you feel like your organization could treat employees with a little more compassion, let’s have a conversation. Sometimes, even a small shift in how we treat people can lead to big changes in how they show up.
